Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Box 16
As i walk into the house from the side door, I am greeted by the smell of pot filling the entire beer pong room. This room os packed with so many people that it is hard to even make your way through. the table is set up right in the middle of the room making it the center of attention. as you walk along the edge of the room, you can look down at any point and you are bound to see one beer can on the floor, especially in the corners. After you finally make your way through the beer pong room, you can look through the doorway and see a wrap around couch that looks like it has seen better days loaded with people surrounding a coffee table that is being used to play a drinking game on. if you look to the left while standing in the doorway, you will see a TV and room that is completely empty with a lot of people just standing there talking. after walking through, it is obvious to see that the beer pong and the living room where the couch is, are the rooms that the majority of the party happens in.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Box 7
For this assignment, i looked at Maggie's notes about spectrum. one thing that i noticed is that she didn't really talk about things that disgusted her. maybe next time she can talk about this topic. another thing that i noticed is that she didn't really talk about their language. the only thing that she talked about was the things did they talked about. i think that next time she goes to her fieldsite, she should see if they have any different laguages that they just use around themselves. other than these issues,i think that she has good notes. i like how she put questions that she had about the things that she wrote down. i think that she just needs to look at a few more things. but other wise, she has good notes
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Box 13
There are not very many artifacts that have to do with my fieldsite. but if i had to pick one, i would say it would be a red solo cup. this is not only thing that holds the partiers drink, but it is also a major source of entertainment. this is what many people use to play the game of beer pong. i do not think that there is much history behind the cup, i think people use them just because the cups are cheap and you can just throw them away. i think that this is the main artifact that you will find in a party.
Monday, February 15, 2010
-Enter through the back door into the kitchen. Walk through the kitchen and have three options of rooms to go in. Turn left and you can go into the beerpong room which is the garage. If you go straight, you enter a very nice room with carpet and couches surrounding a coffee table in the middle of the room. Lava lamps surround the room. This room is where many people play drinking games such as kings and quarters. If you turn right, you go down a staircase leading to the basement. The basement is the place where the dance floor and bar is. This is the room a majority of people stay.
-The interior of this house surprised me because of how nice it was. I expected the house to be really run down and nasty. I was surprised that people would want to have a party in a house as nice as this knowing people are going to be drunk and maybe spill some drinks or maybe even break something.
-There were certain cliques of people that would only stay in their little group wit h their friends, but there were also many people who went around and talked/danced with a lot of different people.
-There were more “wanderers” than I thought there would be. This is one thing that really surprised me.
-The main area that people seemed to hang out at the party was the dance floor. I started talking to this guy named Chris. I asked him why he seemed to hang around the dance floor the most, he said because it was closest to the girls and the bar.
-This answer did not surprise me considering people usually go to parties so that they can drink so it makes sense to stay close to the bar.
-Like normal, people all seemed to act a little different than everyone else. Some people thought they were the coolest people at the party, some people were really quiet and some people were the social butterflies of the party.
-This was no surprise to me because people always act differently than other people. However, it seemed to be amplified while at the party
-The interior of this house surprised me because of how nice it was. I expected the house to be really run down and nasty. I was surprised that people would want to have a party in a house as nice as this knowing people are going to be drunk and maybe spill some drinks or maybe even break something.
-There were certain cliques of people that would only stay in their little group wit h their friends, but there were also many people who went around and talked/danced with a lot of different people.
-There were more “wanderers” than I thought there would be. This is one thing that really surprised me.
-The main area that people seemed to hang out at the party was the dance floor. I started talking to this guy named Chris. I asked him why he seemed to hang around the dance floor the most, he said because it was closest to the girls and the bar.
-This answer did not surprise me considering people usually go to parties so that they can drink so it makes sense to stay close to the bar.
-Like normal, people all seemed to act a little different than everyone else. Some people thought they were the coolest people at the party, some people were really quiet and some people were the social butterflies of the party.
-This was no surprise to me because people always act differently than other people. However, it seemed to be amplified while at the party
Monday, February 8, 2010
Presentors
Ont Thursday, Brandon Schultz and Desiree Howell came and spoke to our class. One thing that Desiree said was, "opposites have a hard time seeing the same point" (Howell). This seemed very relevant to our study because we were encouraged to pick sub-cultures that we are not apart of and may even complete opposites. so i thought that quote seemed very relevant.
Another thing that that Brandon and Desiree did was have us take the insight game on the Ball State website. This assessment was supposed to show us what kind of learner we are. i have taken assessments like this before and i feel this was the one that was farthest from what i think is true. It said that i was an extravert meaning that i work well in large groups. I think that is true to an extent but not when it comes to studying i like to be by myself. This assessment also said that i was a Sensing person. This means that i like to use my experience and logic to make my decisions. the next thing that this assessment told me was that i was Feeling person. The main thing in this section that applies to me the most is that i like to please people no matter the situation. The final thing from this assessment is that i am a perception. This means that i do not like to have a set schedule, but like to have a lot of flexibility.
I think this assessment was right and some spots, but not in all of them
Another thing that that Brandon and Desiree did was have us take the insight game on the Ball State website. This assessment was supposed to show us what kind of learner we are. i have taken assessments like this before and i feel this was the one that was farthest from what i think is true. It said that i was an extravert meaning that i work well in large groups. I think that is true to an extent but not when it comes to studying i like to be by myself. This assessment also said that i was a Sensing person. This means that i like to use my experience and logic to make my decisions. the next thing that this assessment told me was that i was Feeling person. The main thing in this section that applies to me the most is that i like to please people no matter the situation. The final thing from this assessment is that i am a perception. This means that i do not like to have a set schedule, but like to have a lot of flexibility.
I think this assessment was right and some spots, but not in all of them
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Peer Review for Anna Hemmig
Positioning Paper Peer Review
Instructions: Read your paper aloud to two peers. As you read or listen, mark any sentences that are unclear. If you are a listener, listen critically—find what doesn’t make sense or connect and then mark it or question it in the margin.
Your Name: Evan Beard
Writer’s Name: Anna Hemmig
Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why s/he wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.
If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:
• I don’t know if I see a real thesis. I just see a bunch of questions that you want answered.
Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.
• Like I said, I see no real thesis.
What subculture is named in the paper?
• The subculture mentioned in this paper is men’s volleyball
Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?
• Again, I see no real thesis in you paper. There may be one, but I am horrible with thesis’s …sorry
Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:
• AGAIN, I see no real thesis
How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.
• I think it addresses her fixed position by saying that she is not very familiar with this subculture, but would like to study it.
What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.
•
What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?
Quote from the paper to explain.
•
Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.
• I don’t think it seems like a story, however, it may be a little to formal.
Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?
• Yes, each paragraph is a good length and each one has a separate main point all pointing toward the big picture
What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?
• I think you need to find a better way to write a thesis, because it doesn’t seem like there is one to me.
What do you think the strength of this paper is?
• You went into depth about why you wanted to research this topic. You didn’t just say the subculture you chose, you told us why you chose it.
What are the weaknesses?
• There is no real thesis that I can see. You just listed off a bunch of questions that you want answers to.
What’s missing?
• A thesis.
What’s unnecessary?
• I think that you should consider taking out all the questions in the first paragraph, or at least move them to another portion of the paper
Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.
Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.
CRITERIA
READER'S COMMENTS
Weak Satisf. Strong
___X__ _____ _____ Thesis: clear, important, risky
Comments:
_____ ___X__ _____ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?
Comments:
Instructions: Read your paper aloud to two peers. As you read or listen, mark any sentences that are unclear. If you are a listener, listen critically—find what doesn’t make sense or connect and then mark it or question it in the margin.
Your Name: Evan Beard
Writer’s Name: Anna Hemmig
Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why s/he wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.
If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:
• I don’t know if I see a real thesis. I just see a bunch of questions that you want answered.
Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.
• Like I said, I see no real thesis.
What subculture is named in the paper?
• The subculture mentioned in this paper is men’s volleyball
Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?
• Again, I see no real thesis in you paper. There may be one, but I am horrible with thesis’s …sorry
Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:
• AGAIN, I see no real thesis
How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.
• I think it addresses her fixed position by saying that she is not very familiar with this subculture, but would like to study it.
What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.
•
What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?
Quote from the paper to explain.
•
Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.
• I don’t think it seems like a story, however, it may be a little to formal.
Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?
• Yes, each paragraph is a good length and each one has a separate main point all pointing toward the big picture
What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?
• I think you need to find a better way to write a thesis, because it doesn’t seem like there is one to me.
What do you think the strength of this paper is?
• You went into depth about why you wanted to research this topic. You didn’t just say the subculture you chose, you told us why you chose it.
What are the weaknesses?
• There is no real thesis that I can see. You just listed off a bunch of questions that you want answers to.
What’s missing?
• A thesis.
What’s unnecessary?
• I think that you should consider taking out all the questions in the first paragraph, or at least move them to another portion of the paper
Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.
Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.
CRITERIA
READER'S COMMENTS
Weak Satisf. Strong
___X__ _____ _____ Thesis: clear, important, risky
Comments:
_____ ___X__ _____ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?
Comments:
Peer Review for Maggie Carter
Positioning Paper Peer Review
Instructions: Read your paper aloud to two peers. As you read or listen, mark any sentences that are unclear. If you are a listener, listen critically—find what doesn’t make sense or connect and then mark it or question it in the margin.
Your Name: Evan Beard
Writer’s Name: Maggie Carter
Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why s/he wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.
If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:
• “Growing up in a Christian home has affected how I view the gay community, but I hope by learning more about their lifestyles and who they are will make me a more excepting person”
Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.
• I think so. Someone could be so set in their ways and say that even if you get to know them, they are still doing wrong.
What subculture is named in the paper?
• The subculture of Spectrum
Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?
• I think the thesis could maybe be a little more complex.
Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:
• I think that it is specific enough
How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with -his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.
• It addresses her fixed position by telling about her background of being raised in the church.
What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.
•
What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?
Quote from the paper to explain.
• The writing tells me that she is not very familiar with this subculture.
Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.
• I don’t think that it was to formal. I think that you did a nice job of mixing formal language and using narrative elements
Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?
• The first paragraph is very long, taking up the entire first page. Maybe you can find a to break it up into where you came from where you came from and your beliefs, to why you chose to do the topic you are doing.
What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?
• Maybe you could go more into depth about why you chose to do the subculture that you chose. You mentioned it briefly in the first paragraph, but did not go into much detail
What do you think the strength of this paper is?
• I think you did a good job of telling how you came to the conclusion about your subculture and why you feel the way you do. (i.e. growing up in a Christian home)
What are the weaknesses?
• Like I said, I think you could go more into depth
What’s missing?
• Again maybe explain more about why you chose its subculture. You have briefly mentioned it, but maybe you can explain a little more
What’s unnecessary?
• I honestly don’t see anything that I think is unnecessary
Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.
Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.
CRITERIA
READER'S COMMENTS
Weak Satisf. Strong
_____ __X___ _____ Thesis: clear, important, risky
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?
Comments:
Instructions: Read your paper aloud to two peers. As you read or listen, mark any sentences that are unclear. If you are a listener, listen critically—find what doesn’t make sense or connect and then mark it or question it in the margin.
Your Name: Evan Beard
Writer’s Name: Maggie Carter
Does the writer state a thesis at the end of the first paragraph that explains why s/he wants to study a particular subculture and does s/he make a claim about how his or her view of that subculture has been formed? If you can’t find a thesis point this out here.
If you can find a thesis, rewrite the thesis here:
• “Growing up in a Christian home has affected how I view the gay community, but I hope by learning more about their lifestyles and who they are will make me a more excepting person”
Does the thesis make an argument that a reasonable person could disagree with? If yes, what? If no, suggest a thesis based on the paper.
• I think so. Someone could be so set in their ways and say that even if you get to know them, they are still doing wrong.
What subculture is named in the paper?
• The subculture of Spectrum
Could the thesis need to be more concise or more complex?
• I think the thesis could maybe be a little more complex.
Is the thesis specific enough to have meaning? Make a suggestion that pushes the language towards more specific meaning:
• I think that it is specific enough
How does the essay address the writer’s fixed position in connection with -his or her potential subculture? Quote from the paper to explain.
• It addresses her fixed position by telling about her background of being raised in the church.
What does the writing tell you about this student’s subjective position? Quote from the paper to explain.
•
What does the writing tell you about this student’s textual position?
Quote from the paper to explain.
• The writing tells me that she is not very familiar with this subculture.
Does the essay seem like a story or does it seem too formal? Suggest where narrative elements might serve as good examples.
• I don’t think that it was to formal. I think that you did a nice job of mixing formal language and using narrative elements
Does each paragraph seem to be an appropriate length, with only one main idea per paragraph? If not, what specific suggestions do you have to make this paper better organized?
• The first paragraph is very long, taking up the entire first page. Maybe you can find a to break it up into where you came from where you came from and your beliefs, to why you chose to do the topic you are doing.
What suggestions do you have to make the content of this paper better?
• Maybe you could go more into depth about why you chose to do the subculture that you chose. You mentioned it briefly in the first paragraph, but did not go into much detail
What do you think the strength of this paper is?
• I think you did a good job of telling how you came to the conclusion about your subculture and why you feel the way you do. (i.e. growing up in a Christian home)
What are the weaknesses?
• Like I said, I think you could go more into depth
What’s missing?
• Again maybe explain more about why you chose its subculture. You have briefly mentioned it, but maybe you can explain a little more
What’s unnecessary?
• I honestly don’t see anything that I think is unnecessary
Mark on the manuscript any important grammar/spelling mistakes.
Fill out the following chart, adding your comments about each component.
CRITERIA
READER'S COMMENTS
Weak Satisf. Strong
_____ __X___ _____ Thesis: clear, important, risky
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Evidence: relevance, strength, credibility
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Organization: arrangement of ideas, guiding the reader
Comments:
_____ _____ __X___ Mechanics: spelling, grammar, punctuation
Comments:
_____ _____ ___X__ Overall effectiveness: Was the relationship between the author’s background and their subculture clear? Were you convinced of the effects?
Comments:
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